Aristotle, the Greek polymath, characterized humankind as zoon politikon — a political animal. In today’s terms, the translation would be closer to “social animal”. Politikon comes from the Greek word polis, meaning city, town, or citadel.
A zoon politikon today is not necessarily someone who’s involved in politics but someone who is deeply rooted in a community and concerned with its affairs. Back in Ancient Greece, you couldn’t have been concerned with your community’s affairs without being a politician.
Today, you can. The trouble is that very few of us do.
While it’s easier than ever to stay connected, we choose not to: families grow smaller, fewer children are born, households have fewer members, and our circles of close friends are constantly shrinking.
With the ability to communicate with anyone anywhere on Earth, our drive to participate in local communities has also diminished. Turns out, though, that, connected as we seem to be, we are also lonelier.
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Our tendency to grow both lonelier and more alone has been debated a lot by psychologists and sociologists. More recently, economists have joined the talks because lonely people spend their money differently than gregarious ones. Lonesomeness fundamentally changes consumption habits, so it’s time we brought marketers into this subject as well.
But before we do, let’s look at the context:
Mass loneliness, the social epidemic of our times
The causes of loneliness have yet to be fully understood. In teenagers, social media is often deemed the primary cause of aloofness. But what about us, the adults who started socializing long before we could do so on our phones?
A controversial experiment showed that loneliness episodes breed even more loneliness. Being around lonely people makes you feel lonely, so you avoid them. In turn, this makes “curing” loneliness nearly impossible.
This is worrisome. What may have started as a short bout of loneliness can turn into a lifetime of longing for human companionship.
People with robust social connections are more likely to live longer, healthier and happier lives.
But:
- As expected, the elderly are the most lonesome category. With lifespans increasing, more and more seniors spend their last years alone and isolated, which comes with a wide array of health risks, the onset of dementia being the most prominent.
- Younger people are almost as lonely as their older counterparts, which leads me to believe that we’re merely at the beginning of this social epidemic.
- The size of US households dropped from 3.33 members in the 1960s to 2.5 members in 2022 and is expected to drop even lower. The European statistics look even worse: between 2009 and 2021, the number of single-occupancy households increased by 28.5%, while in Asia more than 30% of homes are inhabited by one person.
- In Australia alone, the health cost of loneliness is a staggering $2.7 billion per year and is expected to grow.
The COVID-19 pandemic brought all these problems closer to the surface. But, as the statistics above show, loneliness is not new.
Work and study mobility (people moving away from their families to chase better career opportunities) means we’re all living farther from our kin. Some people move more several times throughout their careers, and each time they have to build new social connections.
Finding new friends, “vetting” them, and building meaningful relationships can get exhausting. So we’re looking for easier, faster alternatives to real-life communities and connections.
How does loneliness change our buying habits?
The most fortunate of us cope with loneliness through creativity. We transmute our experience into something beautiful by swapping the warmth of a tight-knit community for creative output. Or outlet, perhaps.
However, not everyone sees creativity as an escape from loneliness. The most common reaction is throwing money at the problem.
There is a clear correlation between wealth and loneliness. Higher income is systematically associated with increased self-rated loneliness.
Since the entire world gets wealthier every year but can we buy companionship?
Apparently, we can. There are already a lot of services where you can rent a friend. For $40 an hour, they’ll hang out with you.
Longing for physical touch without sexual implications? Professional cuddlers charge $80 an hour.
The dark pit of loneliness has reportedly brought bankruptcy upon at least one user of professional cuddling services who ended up selling his home so he could spend $2000/week…cuddling.
Pet rocks date back to the 1970s and in a newer twist of events, people have started treating life-sized inflatable dolls as human companions, some even marrying them.
The examples above are outliers and, while they may bring a confused smile to your face, they are strong signals that our consumption habits are changing.
Prepackaged dinners for one are more popular than ever. This Valentine’s Day, I’ve seen a huge spike in commercials advocating for self-love or targeting single people.
“Loners deserve to celebrate love too” is part of a catchy article and a piece of advice that brands seem to have taken to heart. Big brands spend millions of dollars on research, so they know loneliness can be capitalized upon.
If you think that’s cynical, you’re right. But it’s no more cynical than a big corporation capitalizing upon your fairytale love story.
High marketing rollers give strong signals; they tell the rest of us (business people who don’t have millions to spend on market research) what people are looking for.
They tell us that consumers are looking for:
- A sense of belonging, despite not being part of a community
- Feel-good experiences, services, and products as a way to replace the dopamine that would otherwise be secreted when enjoying the company of others
- Feeling understood
On a less abstract level, lonely consumers are buying:
- A lot of entertainment (Netflix and chill for one).
- Pets and everything that helps spoil them more than you would a human child. “Pets are the new children and house plants are the new pets” is a mantra a lot of Millennials and Gen Zers live by.
- Different travel experiences: while solo traveling has increased, travelers look for hubs, meet-ups, and groups to be a temporary part of at their destination.
- Luxury items — we’re wealthier than ever and luxury items help in two ways: we spoil ourselves in the absence of someone to do it for us. Plus, we feel like we belong to a community — the wealthy people community.
- Vitamins, supplements, organic food. We have fewer people to take care of, so we take better care of ourselves.
- Dating services and shared experiences, like wine tastings or dance classes.
- Anything, really. Loneliness gets people to impulse shop a lot in a relentless effort to fill an immaterial void with material possessions.
How can your business better serve its clients in the era of loneliness?
As most rich people will tell you, you eventually figure out that material stuff doesn’t fill immaterial voids. So let’s talk about how you can help your client without unethically capitalizing on their loneliness.
There are a few ways to support them and help them fill that void with something better than diamonds.
Start by paying extra attention to personalization — people inherently seek connections with other humans and, more recently, with brands too. Personalization means you pay attention to their needs and wants and they feel included and accepted.
Most consumers will trade their personal data for better, more personalized experiences. It’s up to you to use it wisely!
Stop differentiating between B2B and B2C communication. We’re all human here, so keep it H2H (Human to Human). In fact, this is a trend I’ve been noticing for a while. I’ve written about how B2B communication borrows more and more from its B2C counterparts here.
Build stellar experiences, not just stellar products. Every purchase is an experience. Ideally, a pleasant one. Tailor your CTAs, your micro-copy, and your emails to make your client feel included, important, and part of a community.
Speaking of communities, if you haven’t started building one yet, it’s high time you did. Lonely people look for personalized experiences everywhere, and regular social media feeds don’t cut it anymore. Niche communities are the future.
In the absence of local, tangible communities, we settle for connecting with other people who share our personal and professional interests. Your business definitely caters to one of these two, so build a community around it!
Why? Remember Aristotle’s words: we’re social animals. The way we socialize has changed since his time but our need for human connection hasn’t.
Before I let you go, I want to emphasize one last thing and I’ll do it inelegantly for a higher impact: loneliness sucks. If you don’t struggle with it right now, I’m sure you have at some point in your life. Perhaps you will again.
As a business owner, you can capitalize on your clients’ loneliness. Or you can help them through it.
The latter option won’t make you rich overnight like the former might. But it will help you build a better, more future-proof, and more resilient business. Choose wisely!
That’s it from me today! See you next week, around the same time, in the same place, your inbox. BTW, if this email ended up in your Spam or Promotions folder, would you be so kind as to move it to your inbox? I’d hate to miss our appointment next week!
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Adriana’s picks
This week, I’m premiering a new section on Ideas to Power the Future. Every week, I’ll share three things that caught my eye. Let me know what you think of this section — hit reply and tell me if I should keep it!
1. Vaughan Broderick’s Future-State Thinkingnewsletter is my weekly source of inspiration for building a culture of innovation. If you thought innovation is a one-time event that needs divine inspiration, Vaughan will teach you how to turn it into an ongoing process.
2. ConvertKit is launching Creator Network with the promise to help you grow your list faster. It’s still in beta but it’s worth getting on the waitlist.
3. Social media networks got your attention. Now they want your money too.
Here to make you think,
Adriana
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