Stories sell.
“Wanna hear a good story?” is one of the best openers of all time. It’s hard to resist.
We’re wired to like a good story since our childhood.
As adults, we use them to build personal brands, businesses, a bigger social media following, heck, even Fortune 500 companies. Have you ever wondered why they appeal so much to us?
I have. This also prompted me to discover why they are often toxic. I found stories are akin to energy drinks: they give you a quick boost but they damage all your systems in the long run.
Join me in a story about the toxicity of ubiquitous storytelling, how to fend off its pitfalls, and how to leverage it ethically.
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Seduced by stories? You’re not alone!
Seduced by Story: The Use and Abuse of Narrative by Peter Brooks is one of the first books to examine “storification” or the way we use storytelling to better understand the world around us.
You can see storification in action everywhere: commercials, ads, social media posts, personal development books, and more. Whether it’s a rags-to-riches story, a hero journey, or a coming-of-age parable, we gobble them up because they’re the easiest ways to make sense of complicated things.
Your favorite social media creators and entrepreneurs use them too. The most popular posts use hooks like:
- How I tripled my income in a year.
- 0 to 7-digit business with a simple hack.
- One post that made me a top influencer on X platform.
You’ve definitely seen a lot of these. I know I have.
They’re engaging, fun, and easy to read. They are also inspiring through their apparent simplicity. Whenever I stumble upon something that looks over-simplified, I feel compelled to dig deeper. And dig I did.
This is what I found out:
The hidden stories in your favorite tales
Let me tell you a story (I know, so meta of me).
Last week, I started asking questions underneath popular story-based posts on LinkedIn. I specifically focused on those who depicted a stellar “hero’s journey” — from no job and $0 to a 6-digit business within a year or less.
I found out that most of the popular people I questioned had an unfair advantage:
- One of them had a 10-year background in marketing
- Another had a string of 7 failed business attempts before succeeding in his current one.
- Support systems (family, partners, a war chest) are also popular unfair advantages.
The moral of my story: everyone has an unfair advantage. What sets successful people apart from the rest is the fact that they know how to use theirs.
Classic fairytales work like that too.
Take Cinderella for example: she had a fairy godmother that got her into the ball. A frickin’ fairy, yes! This begs the question: was Cinderella the prettiest of them all or the prettiest of them all *who made it to the ball?
Here’s another example: did you know that Mel Gibson became an actor by pure chance? He was giving his friend a lift to an audition and the casting director saw something in him. He hired him as the lead in Mad Max.
Closer to our days, Nathan Barry had 10 product failures before he built ConvertKit into the success it is today.
Just like Cinderella and Mel Gibson, most of your favorite creators and entrepreneurs have a back story, an unfair advantage, or an impressive, unrepeatable stroke of good luck. These are often left out of their story to make room for the inspirational, yet attainable journey.
We all like to see amazing results that happen FAST. We can put in a year to make it BIG. But are you willing to put in 10 years of learning a craft? Or power through a seemingly endless string of failures? Not so keen, right?
This is why stories can be toxic — ironically enough, you rarely know the full story of a catchy narrative.
The pitfalls of trying to understand the world through stories
When you feed is chock-full of success stories, you may be tempted to think that yours is just around the corner. Success feels attainable — after all, so many people have it and proudly narrate it.
This is where it gets toxic: these people are statistical aberrations – in the most positive sense. For every Cinderella, Mel Gibson, and Nathan Barry out there, there are thousands of others who didn’t make it to the ball, so they didn’t even stand a chance of being picked. Or didn’t pass a casting director by. Or never had a product to take off.
In the back of our minds, we know that. Or we used to know that. The abuse of main character energy bungled up a few things:
Our analytical skills get dulled
We favor stories and dismiss deep thinkers, analyses, and well-rounded arguments. Yes, stories are easier to understand and more engaging to read.
But with dulled analytical senses, we risk drinking the kool-aid mindlessly, along with millions of other story gulpers.
We miss out on the grand narratives
Who’s got time to read an in-depth economic analysis in The Economist? Very few people.
Long-form analyses need a longer exposition, context, historical references, and the examination of at least a couple of probable scenarios. Worse yet, they rarely offer certainties.
Stories, on the other hand, tell you exactly what you need to do. Not sure how the economy is going to fare this year? Check out some influencer stories — you’ll know exactly how to achieve success, irrespective of the economic context.
The problem? By definition, these mini-narratives are biased, truncated, and deceptive. They are purposefully built to avoid the big picture and to eliminate complexity. Reality, however, is complex and hard to understand.
How to avoid falling into the story trap
Online stories are designed to get you to act. Buy, click, follow, subscribe, share — every story you read wants you to do one of these things. But do them too often and you’ll be left with little time to build your own story.
Here’s how to spot the behind-the-scenes of every story:
- Ask questions. Does a hero’s journey seem to out-of-this-world to be true or replicable? Ask for details about that journey. Without exception, you will discover some hurdles that were left out of the narrative.
- Look for the unfair advantage. Look for privilege: a support system, a backstory that supports the current narrative, a massive network — every main character has a fairy godmother.
- Sharpen your analytical skills. Can you spot the lottery ticket in the hero’s journey? The false claim? The bloated numbers? Look carefully — there’s a pattern for every commercial, social media post, Instagram story.
- Mix it up every once in a while. Read something more complex. Something that truly challenges you intellectually. It will also equip you with the mental assets to challenge catchy but devoid-of-essence stories.
Breaking the cycle of harmful storytelling: how to create ethical and still profitable narratives
Great marketing is built on a library of stories. But the most effective, sustainable, and ethical ones are the ones that put the reader/viewer/customer at their center.
When you’re building your story, consider leading with your own unfair advantage. Remember, everyone has one. If you’re not sure about yours, this is a good time to start looking for it. Leading with it conveys authenticity and creates a bond with the reader.
What you leave out of the story tells more about your narrative than what you add to it. Think of a list of FAQs for each story you write. What are the most common gaps critically-minded readers could spot right away?
Does this story benefit you or the reader? The most profitable AND ethical stories benefit both. And I’m talking about long-term benefits, not the quick, cheap buzz an energy drink or a social media story gives you.
Build a collaborative story with more than one main character. This is my favorite ethical marketing tactic. When you share the spotlight with your readers, you create an unbreakable bond with them.
This is the exact technique I used in my launch email sequence. I built a story that stars both the sender and the recipient together. It’s a sequence that sells but it does so ethically, without quick hacks, shortcuts, and carefully omitted facts. It’s designed to build a strong relationship, not score a quick sale. If you want to see this in action, you can download it here.
Lastly, remember that main character energy harms mental and intellectual health — yours and your reader’s. Use it and consume it sparingly, just like doctors recommend doing with salt in your food.
That’s it from me today! I hope you have a fabulous, critically-minded 2023!
If this piece made you even a little bit more careful with what you read online and how much of it you believe without further scrutiny, then my 2023 is already off to a great start!
See you in your inbox next week!
Here to make you think,
Adriana
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